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PETER MARSHALL'S LIST OF FAVORITE ANSWERS
FROM "HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"
- 1. According
to Movie Life magazine, Ann Margret would like to start having
babies, soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile.
Why?
- PAUL LYNDE:
He's out of town.
-
- 2. What are
"dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle
aren't?
- PAUL LYNDE:
They give milk...and cookies, but I don't recommend the
cookies.
-
- 3. Who stays
pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
- PAUL LYNDE:
Who told you about my elephant?
-
- 4. When a
couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
sex?
- CHARLEY
WEAVER: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to
him.
-
- 5. Jackie
Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are
they?
- CHARLEY
WEAVER: His feet.
-
- 6. Before a
cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very
important. What?
- PAUL LYNDE:
An engagement ring.
-
- 7. According
to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking.
What?
- CHARLEY
WEAVER: Not drinking.
-
- 8. True or
false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running
toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over
them.
- CHARLEY
WEAVER: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall
guests.
-
- 9. You're on
your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the abuki.
Why?
- PAUL LYNDE:
It was a long plane ride.
-
- 10. If
you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how
high?
- CHARLEY
WEAVER: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
-
- 11. Do
female frogs croak?
- PAUL LYNDE:
If you hold their little heads under water.
-
- 12. You've
been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
- DON KNOTTS:
That's what's been keeping me awake.
-
- 13. True or
false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they
do in their pajamas.
- PAUL LYNDE:
Yes. We call them winos.
-
- 14.
According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious
about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and
daddy?
- PAUL LYNDE:
Where can I get some?
-
- 15. Your
baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you
try to break him of his habit?
- JOAN RIVERS:
Yes. It's daddy's turn.
-
- 16.
Question: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?
- PAUL LYNDE:
Naked and screaming like the rest of us.
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