Is it true that if we acknowledge our fears, we are more likely to be governed by them? That's how a lot of us act. I did myself for many years! Well, it isn't so. In fact, the best way to deal with your fears is, as a first step, to give them a name. Back in 1990, my life was going through major life changes, as my marriage fell apart and I tried to cope with dependency in a co-dependent relationship! My latent fears began to erupt, and I fell into a state of mind which I called "The Fear Process," taking my cue from a channel who called herself Brother Bartholomew - and began writing them down. They turned out to be multifarious. I'm not going to post them all here, but it may be helpful to at least remember what they were about, so you can read my tally by clicking here.

There is also a very fine essay by Chris Mercogliano on the same subject of fear which appeared in my journal SKOLE and later became a chapter in his book about our school, Making It Up As We Go Along. Click here to read it.

In 2003, having left the community connected with The Free School, I have at last begun to grapple with these lifelong crippling fears, with the help of a gentle therapist, and can finally, after three years, see a big difference in the calmness level with which I approach the ordinary setbacks and fears engendered by ordinary life, day to day! What strikes me now, looking back, was that the real issue that held the fear process in place for me throughout those eight decades was not so much the fear which arose from time to time but the overall fear of the fear itself when it did arise! It's as though something inside me was saying, "You are not supposed to feel this way. It is wrong that you should feel so much fear, Something is very wrong here!" That one I was never able to unpack and lay to rest - until recently.

It is a great relief to discover that fear needn't master me when it arises - as arise it will, in the ordinary course of life! - especially as you grow older. It's just plain old fear, nothing worse! As old President Roosevelt said of the Depression of the 30s, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" I find that a very profound statement, one which resonates on a deep level with what we are experiencing as a people in this country during these opening years of the 21st century!

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