Jan. 2, 2001
Dear Mr. Blue,
Fifteen years ago, I began practicing a much maligned religion called Wicca. It has brought a sense of connectedness and well-being that I received from no other source. I am quite happy spiritually. But some people can't handle my religion: Some friends have turned away from me and I am estranged from my own family. So, understandably, I'm a bit hesitant to tell most people about my beliefs. I'm engaged to a wonderful, loving man who is a very sincere Christian. We have a great relationship because we respect each other's opinions and points of view. My future mother-in-law is a warm, kindhearted woman, rather conservative in her religious leanings, and she does not know about mine. She has made great efforts to make me feel comfortable within the family, but I cannot feel truly welcome until she knows who/what I am. I'd like to tell her before we are married, but my fiancé wants me to just leave it be. Is it so wrong for me to want to know how she'd accept me after learning about my beliefs?
Not a Wicked Witch!
Dear Not,
This is a good plot for a sitcom. Bob brings his fiancée, Glenda, home to Summerville to meet Mom, a devout hymn-singing cake-baking Baptist, and Bob drops Glenda's suitcase on the stairs, and it springs open, and all these funny necklaces and statues and pictures of Beelzebub fall out. A great commotion ensues, shouting, weeping, slamming of doors, and then three commercials, and then peace is restored. Maybe Glenda uses her witchcraft to locate a lost child. Maybe she forecasts a tornado and saves the town from destruction. Everybody's happy.
In real life, people aren't happy about this. Your sincere Christian's conservative mother will not freely accept having a Wiccan daughter-in-law. Maybe you could put a spell on her or whip up a potion in your cauldron, but on her own, she is not going to accept you. It would've been uphill even if you'd been a macramé Unitarian or a mackerel-snapping Catholic. Jewish would've been tough. Wiccan? You've got to be kidding.